I was a little confused by the open-endedness of the topic/assignment and have been doing some research on what defines authenticity or credibility among today’s society.

This is predominantly revolving around pop culture and me trying to identify what makes it credible/authentic to its consumer.

Of course in this particular case, we’re talking about music, so the word consumer is transplanted with the word listener.

Regardless, I still dislike using the word CONSUMER when it comes to music or art, regardless of the medium.

All art has some emotional connection, even if it was specifically designed to make money. Some technician, vocalist, or engineer really loved working on that piece of tripe…so SOME love and heart went into making the crappiest of tunes.

A tangent. My b.

What defines credibility, particularly in today’s society? And with the internet, how do we deem what we read as credible and authentic? In the same vein, how do we authenticate pop culture and music? How do people perceive the discourse of pop culture as credible?

Evidently there are both subjective and objective qualifiers…

This is sort of stream of consciousness thing here…I’m just trying to work out my thoughts.

Yes, you read that correct, sonatas, as in plural. I’m preparing both of them for a competition coming up.

I’ve been struggling a bit with the Brahms, at least in a musical sense. Technically, it’s not that difficult, however trying to understand the depth and emotional intensity of his works…has been quite cumbersome.

I don’t like the word cumbersome in this particular passage, just happens to be the only word I can really think of.

I’m what you would call an emotional savant. I prefer to call myself an emotional savant because for some reason, emotional wreck has less of an ethereal feeling to it…makes me sound less like a pansy.

So, yes, I wear my heart on my sleeve and my energy is very emotionally charged. This lends itself exceptionally well to making music…and an ability I’m rather proud of. A lot of people have technique, few have the musical capacity and prowess to be able to actually execute the intrinsic meaning of a work.

For me, however, Brahms is causing problems.

I’ve been listening to the Violin Concerto and the Double Concerto a lot…and it just baffles my mind at the sheer intensity one needs to express the emotional depth of this music. I feel like I need a far more battered soul than I have already to even come close to grasping the complexity of Brahms works.

For those of you who have never read Jan Swaffords biography on Brahms…I’d strongly suggest it. It’s an absolute WONDERFUL read and a very personal (and private) look into the life of Brahms.

I compare my experiences in life, both traumatic and not, to those of Brahms. We were very similar people. Musically, Brahms was a genius, something I am not. Emotionally, however, I think we are very similar people.

Is that a bit of stretch? Probably…but whatever.

I’ll figure it out. Back to listening and writing.

You know, one of those lessons where you get goose bumps while you’re playing because you never thought you could do that.

I’m working on both Brahms Sonatas right now for a Competition in Houston. Brahms is tough, not technically, but musically.

Any musician can tell you that.

My problem is being able to get out of my own way. Transcending the notes and playing past the page.

I’ve devoted the past two years to studying orchestral excerpts and playing in orchestras. As much as I enjoy that, I’ve found that it really does, to some degree, limit your musical expression.

Okay, I should go into some more detail about that. When you’re preparing for auditions, you practice only playing the right way, one way, no mistakes, perfect.

Absolutely perfect.

That rigid frame of mind really throws you for a loop because you pigeon hole yourself into only thinking about playing it perfectly and all the important stuff goes out the window.

However, once you have the job, and maybe tenure, then you can be musical.

I still struggle with wanting to play in an orchestra – I just subbed with the KSO this past week and it was a pleasurable experience. But I just remember sitting in rehearsals for three hours, Monday through Friday, feeling stifled and simply unmusical. I never really felt like I was making music.

I mean, it was good, and I’m a damn fine second clarinetist…because it’s my job to make the first sound amazing. I just wanted something more, I wanted to be able to transcended to another musical level with the musicians around me. I could really find that connection.

I hate feeling restricted and confined.

I’m closterphobic.

It’s interesting to me, and at the same time frustrating, to have such difficulty with the Brahms. I’ve always had a rather strong ability to emote and be musical.

I think it has much to do with my years of being trained to play Brahms like a robot…like a machine…without any fluctuation of tempi or change in color.

The first time I played it for my current clarinet professor, he said…”you play beautifully, with a focused sound, the most focused I’ve heard, but it’s TOO focused…you sound like a clarinet player…stop.”

Ha! HA! Yet, UGH…UGH!! I find myself working so hard to be out of the box that I’ve gone so far out that I’m actually smack dab in the middle of it.

Damn.

I have structure again. Structure is good.

And my playing has ALREADY improved in just two lessons.

I’m happy and gonna ride out this cloud 9 for a while.

I remember the good old days when I would post one or two…or six…times a day. Those days are long gone, they are but distant memories of my youth.

Ah well. I’ll be happy to at least get in one every two days.

I met up with Ben Friemuth today, for those of you who don’t know Ben (or his wife), google them. They’re wonderful people and amazing musicians! Ben is going to be a father soon, that’s very exciting, they’re going to be such wonderful parents!

I didn’t play at all today in my lesson, I was a little confused at first, but then relaxed. I’m so used to coming into a lesson, throwing my instrument together and blasting out the latest excerpts I’m working on… after which I have my face ripped off because I can’t play the clarinet.

It was really nice to have Ben actually sit down and ask me questions. You could tell that he was investing his time in my development, even though he’s never heard me play. He show a real interest.

I don’t know about everyone else, but that meant a lot. At my age, and by that I mean working on my doctorate NOT my actual physical age, you need to be able to have a certain type of dialogue with your teachers/professors. I’m not REALLY a student anymore, I’m not just another clarinet player anymore – I’m a professional clarinetists working on his Doctorate to then turn around and teach OTHER clarinet players and students. It’s important to me that I gain AS much knowledge and experience as possible. Ben opened that dialogue and I, in turn, was capable of opening that dialogue to him – and told him what I want and what my downfalls are and what I need help with.

Which is tough because I just admitted to him all my weird bad habits.

Mostly the fact that I drag my feet and tend to procrastinate on certain things. Like right now, I should be practicing and preparing for a lesson – but instead I’m writing this blog.

I don’t know, just seemed more pressing at the moment. This self-analysis of my feelings just seems more important than hashing away at the Brahms Sonatas right now.

Ugh, I’m going to have to buy a new clarinet this year…it’s about time, but I’m not really certain how I’m going to get this money…

I need to come up with 2,700 dollars…fast.

"Barrels of Fun"

New school year, new adventures, new travels.

I mean, practically a new life. It’s quite an exciting time to be Adam, so you should follow closely ladies and gentlemen – ‘cause it’s gonna get interesting.

My writing has gone down the crapper these last few months – mostly due to the fact that everything I write is a state of complete panic and sheer terror.

Okay, fine maybe not SHEER terror…just terror.

Often times I go back a re-read emails to make sure all the necessary information was included. I read this one email to my boss I sent at 5am the other day…I couldn’t even understand it, it was as though I was drinking and typing with one finger…

I just wrote her another email. Evidently, I need to keep myself from writing emails before 7am.

Not certain many of you know, but I was awarded the Graduate Assistant at University of Cincinnati College-Conservatory of Music. Yay! I like the administrative stuff (to a degree) and I’m getting to put all that experience I have in business management to good use.

I love academia.

No..not a lie, I do. It’s very thrilling to have the opportunity to teach at a college one day.

Professor Adam has a rather nice ring to it. No, I will not be Professor Butalewicz – to only be called Prof. But?!

Yeah, this guy, not stupid.

What's that?

Yeah, now that I think about it, maybe not so much academia so much as I love teaching.

Lets leave the subject at that…END SCENE!

Regardless, it’s going to be an additional load for me this year. My strong urge/desire/need to procrastinate is going to have to stop. Baby steps, my friends – BABY – STEPS.

Have quite a few competitions coming up this year. And have just started ripping apart the literature for the Emma Hogg competition in Houston. Recording Brahms Sonata No. 1 and No. 2 for the preliminary round – these judges are mean individuals, good thing I love Brahms and “EAT HIM FOR BREAKFAST!” I’ve always had this nothing that you can tell the strength of a player by how well he plays three composers, Bach, Mozart, and Brahms. With Brahms, you know in the very first phrase….

And I get to re-memorize the Nielsen and Copland. I’m rediscovering things about the Nielsen that I LOVE.

I’m going to start posting details about a doctoral seminar I’m taking called “Popular Music from the Margins.” A seminar class that survey’s popular music throughout the world. Not popular music as in classical pop, but POP music – that includes rap, hip-hop, country, soul, blue grass, etc.

Mainstream!

We’re looking at the very core of popular music and asking questions like, “Why is this popular?” Identifying thematic structures, harmonic relationships from one performer’s cover to another. Something I’m most interested in, is looking at the anthropological influences of Pop music as well as how the industries marketing and advertising might be applied to what we do as classical musicians.

Okay, enough, time to practice. Yeah, I’m a little jumbled, it’s been a while and I’m rusty. Hopefully my blogging will start revolving around one central theme here shortly, just need to get my feet wet first.

My father passed away suddenly in the beginning of May. May 2nd, to be exact. He died from a severe stem stroke that effected 75 percent of his entire brain.

My dad was my rock, my core and my center. He continually pushed me to reach new limits and planes in my life.

His death has affected in ways I cannot explain. The emotional toll I’ve taken has been indescribable. I’ve yet to figure out how to control my emotions, how to accept what has happened, has happened. I came to this realization a few days ago when I found myself saying and doing things that are not at all characteristic to my personality.

So – in attempts to find myself again, I’ve started rediscovering myself. I’m not certain how I’m going to do that. I know it’s going to be tough and I’m not really certain what to expect. But it’s time.

I’ve been reading a lot about Buddhism lately and have found a considerable amount of solace and personal help in those readings.

The Essence of Buddhism:

1. The greatest achievement is selflessness
2. The greatest worth is self-mastery
3. The greatest quality is seeking to serve others.
4. The greatest precept is continual awareness.
5. The greatest medicine is the emptiness of everything.
6. The Greatest action is not conforming with the worlds ways.
7. The greatest magic is transmuting the passions.
8. The greatest generosity is non-attachment.
9. The greatest goodness is a peaceful mind.
10. The greatest patience is humility.
11. The greatest effort is not concerned with result.
12. The greatest meditation is a mind that lets go.
13. The greatest wisdom is seeing through appearances.

I’m nervous, I guess, because I’m not certain where this is going to take me. What will I find out about myself in this process?

Who am I?

:sigh:

And so, here we are again, back in Cincinnati. It was a bit more difficult to re-acclimate  myself to the hustle and bustle of the city and the Conservatory – but I’m slowly getting back on track. My time away from the Conservatory was great and think I needed it on a very basic level – it was good for my soul. My two-week tour afforded me quite a bit of down time too, which is something I rarely have here in Cincinnati. It was so nice to get back to some really core basics while in New York and had the opportunity to really sit down and score study!

During one of the master classes, I talked about the importance of practicing both on the clarinet and OFF! It’s such an invaluable tool and you really gain an intimate relationship with what you’re playing when you take the time to study the piano part or the full orchestra score. For years, my score study was sort of inconsequential and I never really studied it, I mostly just followed along with the recording. That’s helpful to an extant, but there’s a cap on what you take in during that time. I spent a lot of time in front of a piano, singing parts in the orchestral score or plunking out important lines. I’m lucky in that I know how to play the piano and spent a lot of time learning the piano part and singing the clarinet line. It’s tough but you gain a more cohesive understanding of the music on a much larger scale.

Much of the work I do in lessons now is learning how to get to the next level. Sounds strange to spend lesson times figuring out how to get that next plain, but for me it’s been an essential exploration of my own personal and emotional ethos and how to apply that to my individual studies. Attention to detail and learning how to be more OCD about everything – and never settling for less than your best.

That last part is actually the impetus for my blog today. My warm-up was not stellar today and it’s partially my fault. I blew through a lot of core exercises that are the foundation for everything else. I failed to spend enough time doing long tones and immediately went right into my tonguing exercises. I made note in my practice log a few days ago that some time needs to be spent on articulation in the lower range of the instrument to maintain the quality of sound throughout all dynamic levels and styles of articulation.

You can’t achieve that if you’ve blown through your long tone exercises.

I then went to scales without fixing what needed to be fixed and found myself getting more and more frustrated with the quality of my sound through my work. This is a hard thing for me to work past because I can’t quite seem to break the mental block when this happens – resulting in my scales being as unmusical and boring as a student just learning them for the first time.

I ended up walking home, a little frustrated, and knew that I need a mental break before I go back and re-do my foundation studies for the day. I know a lot of musicians think that the core of your foundation should come from the music your playing, and I agree to an extent…but only to an extent. Consistency is a problem with many musicians, I don’t care what level you’re at, and working on the very foundation of our playing helps to foster a more consistent product.

Gross, I hate using the term product when it comes to my playing – even though we’re essentially selling a product to the audience.

Maybe I need to change things up? My foundation studies are becoming stale and I’m in need of a mental and physical change.

We’ll try that.

Now that he’s gone, I doubt that Ichiban will stay up for longer. The owner continually pays staff under the table, screwed up my taxes and probably stole money from me. She DOESN’T pay her busers a fair wage and I’ve cited at least 5 or 6 reasons why she shouldn’t pass health inspection….

That, however, is a story for another day. I’d rather talk about my NEW job!

Now, I know that I typically write about arts and cultural related things, or about the clarinet – I just felt that this was another faucet of my life that helps me pursue those goals and dreams. Hey, I gotta pay my bills, right? This way, with another job, (and this is on top of 3 other jobs, mind you) I can keep doing what I want. Life of an artist, right?

For those of you who know me, you know I love my wines and fine dinning! The problem is, I just can’t afford it. BUT, working at a fine dinning restaurant is the NEXT best thing!

They have a full staff of trained culinary chefs and future chefs, the wait staff actually knows the difference between a salad fork and a dinner fork! Or really, the big clencher for me is that the wait staff know the difference between…a California Chardonnay and a French Chardonnay!

I’m in my element here!

I’m looking forward to bringing you, in addition to the daily fodder of my arts and cultural life, an ever interesting display of food and wine that I encounter through my travels through this new restaurant – and no doubt there will be plenty.

Lets start, actually, with the amuse-bouche. The amuse-bouche is a French term that roughly translates to, “amuse the mouth.” The amuse, or the bouche as many of my colleagues refer to it as, is served just after the patrons have order their courses. The bouche is a small, appetizer-like offering from the chef. Typically, it is served on a wafer, small spoon, or the like. The bouche is supposed to be a small bite sized delight, packing the full punch of the chefs culinary ability. For the patron, it is a sort of teaser on what to expect from the chef throughout the course of the dinner.

The bouche has three specific criteria to be considered, well, an amuse-bouche: 1. it is small, usually to be taken in one bite (or two); 2. it is a gift from the chef, therefore free to the patrons; 3. and finally, everyone at the table is served the same thing.

Here’s a fantastic quote on the amuse-bouche and its purpose from Jean-Georges Vongerichten, a famous culinary chef in New York

“The amuse-bouche is the best way for a great chef to express his big ideas in small bites.”

Enjoy!

Of course I’ve composed numerous recommendation letters before, but for some reason this one really caused some serious writers block. No doubt a result of the pressure I was putting on myself to make sure it was a great letter, showing the teachers quality of character, educational examples and direct influence on me, as well as showing the teachers unequivocal loyalty and dedication to his art, students, and education.

Needless to say, it took me quite a few days, many cups of coffee, tons of turmoil (mostly because I kept yelling at myself for not making any sense), and maybe a few tears (maybe).

Nonetheless, during that adventure, I spent a lot of time researching various philosophical methods related to teaching. One that I came across that made me stop and think, and ask a lot of questions, was the idea of “rote teaching.”

As I’m sure many of you know, rote teaching is the act of repetition as a means to memorization. Though that sounds just fine, it actually bypasses essential criteria around the learning and educational process; repetition doesn’t teach you the over-all purpose of something, or the cause and effect theory. In actuality it’s just a glorified word for cramming. There’s a huge movement (I’m PROBABLY blowing that slightly out of proportion, as far as a huge movement) in the U.S. to push “rote” teaching out of the classroom, particularly in mathematics.

I agree, rote learning is just ridiculous if it can’t be used as a way to support over-all concepts and more broad ideas.

While I was trying to fall asleep last night, and failing, this concept of rote learning kept popping into my head and its relation to the clarinet. But you could apply it to music in general.

I’ve got quite a few ideas that I’m working over now and trying to decide whether or not rote teaching in music is either positive or negative. Of course, I want to lean toward the negative, but I’m hesitant because that’s how I learned the material for years. Maybe because I don’t want to accept that I could have potentially learned material twice as fast as I did….

But whose fault is that? Mine? But I was a young kid, I only do what you tell me to do! (to some degree)

Now, given today my practicing is quite a bit different from what it was – I’m more conscientious, thorough, and take more of an analytical approach to what I’m doing.

But, what about our teachers or their teachers? Could we change the mindless repetition that we teach our students to practice, maybe on how we teach scales? I don’t know how many times I’ve gotten a new student, in private lessons, that can play all their scales but has no clue how to: a. construct them, b. know their origin and relationship to other scales, c. know their key signatures, or d. know any systematic approach to figure out the scales on their own without the aid of a teacher or scales sheet.

Hmm. Does anyone know some good theoretical methods? Something out of the traditional pedagogy books, as I’ve most likely read and marked them up to death. This has really sparked a lot of interest for me. I need to do some research.

“Why are the art programs first to be cut when the budget gets tight?”

“Why aren’t you emphasizing arts education as a core part of your curriculum?”

“Do you know what the benefits are of having a balanced focus on arts education for your students?”

Since the inception of the No Child Left Behind Act in 2002, Arts education in the United States has taken a drastic turn in the wrong direction.

The No Child Left Behind Act’s main focus is on skills in reading, writing and mathematics, which are areas related to economic success. And even though the Act clearly defines art as a part of the core curriculum, schools continually cut the arts funding and staff, and fail to provide any support outside of it being an elective choice.

Defintion of core academic subjects as stated in Title IX, Part A, Section 9101(1)(D)(11), of the No Child Left Behind Act:

The term `core academic subjects’ means English, reading or language arts, mathematics, science, foreign languages, civics and government, economics, arts, history, and geography.

A few (frustrating) facts from the 2005 survey on the state of arts education in Ohio conducted by the Ohio Alliance for Arts Education:

• 60 percent of respondents reported no school improvement initiatives that included the arts or the integration of arts with other academic subjects in their districts.

• 56 percent of respondents reported that their arts education programs are not aligned with their school’s continuous improvement plan.

• 12 percent reported that the arts were included in district strategies and activitiesto improve student performance.

• 16 percent reported that their district included performance indicators for the arts in their district’s improvement plan.

• 78 percent of respondents reported that no supplemental information regarding the arts was included on the Local Report Card.

Why is this happening? Well, because the arts are viewed as a subjective and exploratory area. And that’s the main reason why officials fail to see it as an essential part of the school curriculum. More importantly, it’s the reason why arts program budget’s are the first to be cut – because it’s just not that important when schools have to raise test scores.

Given the extreme pressure schools are under to raise test scores, and the greater autonomy principals have over school budgets, it is not surprising that we are witnessing a shift away from the arts. Meredith Kolodner

Some districts are reducing the amount of time spent on the arts in favor of remediation. Ken Rohrer

This is disheartening when we know the paramount role arts education has in a student’s development and achievement. Time and time again, it has been proven that students who actively participate in arts education programs achieve higher marks and scores on national and local tests (such as the SAT’s, ACT’s, and GRE’s) and have a higher graduation rate and acceptance rate into College and University programs.

For more information on the benefits of Arts Education check out:

• Ohio Alliance for Arts Education

• New Horizons for Learning, by Dee Dickinson

• Fact Sheet About the Benefits of Arts Education for Children , from Arts USA

If we have the research and the facts, why aren’t the changes being made?

It is HOW we COMMUNICATE the importance of arts education to our local officials that needs to change. Even with a sea of research material, data, and resources – it’s still not getting across. We can’t address school policy and budgetary allocation issues if they (the all-important decision makers) don’t understand the benefits in terms they can relate to and identify with. The 2008 research report by ArtsWave, The Arts Ripple Effect: A Research-Based Strategy to Build Shared Responsibility for the Arts, does just that. It is a systematic and thorough analysis of how the surrounding community perceives and understands the role of arts. The report shows us that there is a clear misinterpretation of the arts and its essential role in building sustainable communities and neighborhoods. Furthermore, it shows how influential our words and rhetoric are in describing the arts role in our community.

This ground-breaking report is the model that pro-arts education policy makers need to follow and adopt.

It’s a change that would benefit everyone and something that needs to be addressed in balancing the focus of arts education in public school curriculum.