I feel like I’m lost in some barren wasteland of slowly rotting foliage emanating a stench of decaying flesh.
Odd, yes, but the word “normal” has never been used to describe me.
It’s interesting to write about my current emotional and physical state. When I think about my state of mind – I can’t quite find the right adjectives to best explain this titanic oil spill covering my mind.
And I’m rather good at stepping back and being able to relate to problems much better than others.
So many things have been going wrong lately – and I haven’t had the time to actually sit down and really process them. I need the time for my brain to think about everything, take it apart, put it back together and file it off in some random hidden cave in the back of my subconscious. It’s not that what is going wrong is so much a “bad” thing, per say. I’ve gotten used to really brilliant ups and colossal downs – a part of life, you take the bad with the good – as the cliche goes.
My playing is getting better – but on the other hand, I feel like I’m searching for two basic things:
1.) My Sound
No. 2 is something I’ll be searching for, no doubt, for the rest of my life.
No. 1 is a whole other story.
My social life has taken a complete back burner to my present situation and I’m beginning to really notice its effects on my mental capacity and stability.
Bah. WHAT STABILITY?!?
It’s just good to have a few friends that I can count on when really needed. Strange though, I still find myself slowly confiding in fewer and fewer people.
A few other things as related to my life, but not really worth sharing with everyone here. I think this blog may be a bit out of character for what originally was intended, but sometimes you really need to work out your thoughts in an open forum – where someone gives a bit of advice, tells you you’re stupid – or – more a place for me to merely vomit the contents of my brain so as to not explode.
Seeing that I need it tomorrow….